Monday, March 26, 2007

Ugh.

As of today, I've decided to be less cautious. I knew that people were stupid. That they existed, and in hordes, who were mentally incapable to understand half of what I uttered (which was said out loud only for I hoped they would be intelligent enough to understand) and definitely nothing of what I thought.
I thought it was narrow and elitist of me to think people as inferior to my intellect for they probably knew much that I was completely ignorant of. Also, that it was my human duty to understand why they didn't, couldn't know certain things. To treat them kindly and not harbour any feelings of supreme contempt like some of my friends did. Even if they did not know certain things, who was I to condemn them? I should accept them the way they were, and hope for them to evolve. This was not meant to be patronising in any way. It was just something that warned be from becoming a snob, in any way.
I still believe in most of this, but I'm cracking. Too many people prove to be stupid in too many ways for me to hold conversations with them anymore. It's just the way they think, and how it is so silly that they can't even see it, that makes it unbearable for me to talk to them. I don't even know what to say that they would actually understand the same way I'm relating it. It's this huge gap that exists in our understandings that renders it impossible for us to actually converse. This has absolutely nothing to do with communication gaps or so. It has nothing to do with differing definitions. Crap, it has NOTHING to do with words at all. I mean, unless we're talking about how sunny the day is or which flavour ice-cream tastes better, I can't think of any topic where I would not be disgusted with them. Their responses are so infinitely petty and crookedly constructed that I shrink back in horror. Horror not because of their deformed thought process, but horror for they in no way were lesser equipped than me. It would have been a different matter altogether if we were taught different things and that's how our responses are so uneven; then I would reverted back to what I had always thought true. That I will not, cannot be contemptuous of them. But here, they had the same schools, same teachers, and same kind of environment where I grew. I look to them to be weighed in equal scales as I weigh myself. And find them to be this. How do I forgive them after this? I can't. I won't.




This was written after an especially annoying revelation that came while learning certain things certain people held true that made the author choke and go green, she felt so ill. So pardon her harsh tone. She was seeing red. Tearing her hair out and hyperventilating. Yes, you've got her perfectly now.

10 comments:

Hanedin said...

I would have assumed you are talking about the certain race of people that exist in our god-forsaken city, donning turquoise shirts and attrociously blinding gold jwellery. Not to forget the jeans that vomit out the words "Harlay Daavidson" somewhere on them?

Sigh, but they aren't the only one. Incongruence in understanding is one of the things that evolution needs to take care off...Sigh.

ami said...

Yes, that assumption wouldn't have worked. It's not the clothes. And I wont, or rather cant generalise people having atrocious clothing sense to necessarily be the people I'm talking about. I'm talking about the people wearing crisp Ralph Lauren shirts and AG jeans too. So it's not really about the clothing. Shit. Its so depressing to be around them. Good you aren't one of 'em Rudy, btw.

kyra said...

lol sweetheart, you havent perfected the art of blocking people out yet, have you? you know, this is precisely the reason why i don't talk to people unless i have a good reason to. and yeah, it helps to be dreamy and zoned out most of the time.

ami said...

Hmmm. I would have, probably, if I didn't think it was wrong. Except now I ain't so sure anymore.

kyra said...

it may be wrong, but one can't be a damned marty all the time. i just dont think you should go overboard trying to be nice coz you'd just end up giving yourself a hard time. trust me, i've learnt this the hard way.

Anonymous said...

Probably the wrong place to leave this comment, but what the hell :) I love your blog. You write so refreshingly well :)

ami said...

@Kyra
The trouble is, I didn't think I was being nice. I thought it was just being fair. But being fair is hard too :(

@sporadicblogger
Ahhh... You have no idea what that meant to me :)
And I wrote something for you last night (or does 3.30 qualify as morning?)

Anonymous said...

A post? Just for me :) *Goes over to comment*

kyra said...

You are Nice.

No further arguments. :p

ami said...

Lol. You are nice. I wont add the 'too'. Because there isnt :P