The Man Who Wanted A Longer Nose

Hanedin
Did you know about the guy who wanted his nose to be longer?

Ylva
:D
Who??

Hanedin
the guy, oh you don't know the guy? He wears a tweed coat, listens to the blues in the afternoon, middle-aged, feeds pigeons at dawn, has a strange breakfast of diet coke and idli..
oh you don't know the man?
He is the man who wanted his nose to be longer?

Ylva
Did anyone know his name ??
Or what he did when he wasnt feeding pigeons ?

Hanedin
He was content, lived alone, rich..except whenever he looked at someone he always compared his nose to people
of course? Name everybody knew his name, but it's not part of the story? And he did normal people things-walk talk eat, you know the drill. Except that when he ate, he thought about how his nose would twitch a little more had it been longer while chewing..
similar thoughts entered his head, when he talked to people, and he kept staring at people nose's while talking to them...so they got creeped out...but after a point of time..
they let him be
..

Ylva
did they know too ?

Hanedin
he tried everything to make his nose longer, he asked around for adivice, he tried tectonic tonics, he listened to magic charmers, even contemplated plastic surgery..

Ylva
Merely contemplated?

Hanedin
now most of his friends, were short sighted, so did not know that he was talking to their noses..however good advice, or any advice is abundant as you know.
ahh.
yes..merely contemplated..
you see, he was a stickler for original things! the thought of synthetically enhanced nose, made him balmy and clammy.

Ylva
but he wated his nose to be longer ? What did he do ?

Hanedin
So one day, he decided that come what may, he would make his nose longer..
yes...
You see, he had a brilliant plan..
he realized that he had about another 10-15 years after which he would probably fall sick or something..

Ylva
arey ? Why ?

Hanedin
He bought a lot of supplies, which would last him a few years.....
a lot and stored them all in his room, his basement, his entire house was sprawling with boxes neatly assembled and categorized

Ylva
supplies?

Hanedin
and finally after telling people about his master-plan, he locked himself in, ignoring their discouraging shrugs...

Ylva
what was his master plan ? what supplies ??
What ?
What ??

Hanedin
You see he figured, if you can't change something, you create an illusion...he changed all his mirrors in his house, and made them strange concave/convex mirrors that would reflect a contorted image of himself and make his nose look longer..

Ylva
but his face ?

Hanedin
The thing is he had told his friends not to open the door, until the three years ended..
they had barricaded it from outside..
and left him alone

Ylva
but why ?
Why three years ??

Hanedin
the supplies were only enough for three years
now, however when he looked at himself in the mirror he saw bloated himself..
long nose, was next to droopy lips, drippy eyes and a flattened chappati face
the more he looked, the more disgusted he became..

Ylva
why did he need to lock himself away?

Hanedin
his friends had doubted his independence..
they had taunted him and said he would not last, long nose or not
and his rage which was already brimming within him, just exploded like a volcano..
he raged and raved in the house..
kicking boxes that came in his way..

Ylva
boxes ?
Of the supplies ?

Hanedin
uh huh
until one burst and little forks came out..
..
while he was picking up the fork he looked one last time at the mirror, and that was indeed the last straw..
he took the fork
and shoved the first one into his left eyeball
..
he took another, and shoved that one right next to the other
one
..

Ylva
and he was happy ?

Hanedin
and as the blood and aqueous fluids fell down his face..
and across the blunt insufficient nose
..
he grinned
a wide toothy smile.

Ylva
:)

Hanedin
:D