Urghhhh

I have this horrifying temper. Once let loose, it’s scary. For others AND for me. And the crazy part is… I can’t control it. Come what may. It’s this fierce, blinding rage when my eyes feel warm with anger and I can feel the blood rushing to my head… The feeling at the back of my mind where I know I have to be stopped, then the more overpowering feeling that hopes no one stops me ‘cause I’ll just lash out at them instead. Then the feeling two minutes into my anger when I start regretting it all but am too far into the anger to back out… Then the steaming tears shed privately… The hurt and the insecurity… And finally the feeling of being left alone and the forlornness of it all… Makes me shudder to recall those shifting emotions. Oh well.