Hehe

I think, every once in a while, all of us can be excused to be a little... self congratulatory. No? ;)

Dessert.

Oh hell. I've just realised how at times I despise women. And how at others I adore 'em. Men are either boring or very very interesting. I think I'm going to attempt a blog where I'm a man. And nobody would know. Glee! Of course I'm not giving you the link. Potential Party Pooper. :P

Forgotten mirth

And ill gotten peace

Jumbled up anger

Mischief, mischief.

Mixed up fear

In Hateful lies

Claustrophobic nightmare

Little do you realise.

Hell Yeah.

I suffer from a very bad disease. Its called Irrationality with a capital EYE. I'm bosom friends with Irrationality, I play with Irrationality, I draw circles with Irrationality and I obsess with Irrationality. It is really driving me mad. EYE AM IRRATIONAL. And I hate it.

Oh, and read this. Everyone should've friends like these.

And... Oof

Life... Can be quite irritating at times. A bitch of a mood, clubbed with a super annoying birthday boy and a supremely selfish best friend and her super sad boyfriend clubbed together do NOT make for a good midnight conference. Plus if two out of the three of them be intellectually inordinately wanting, it can be quite exasperating to keep one's patience.


I felt like banging my head against the wall. Oh lord.


So today was Holi, and I did not play. Funny, probably the first one when I've declined all that glorious muck. Oh well. Someone's 'friend' (read sexually desperate bugger) sprayed her with a aerosol car paint. Black. Muhahahaha. The sight. Am I glad that I declined the invitation to go meet that friend.

Colours are lovely and I like multi-coloured bodies running around splaying water. What I don't get is how the colours don't come off! Scrub behind your ears, underneath your chin, the gaps of your fingers, shampoo your scalp. How hard is that? And all that tosh about it not coming off... Well, do something about it!! Okay now I sound like a grandma... But it is distinctly lurid to see people in brand new clothes and pink eyebrows walking around with no shame in their souls. Fie!

Its funny when you hear your parents giggling over not-so-whispered exchanges at three in the night. Slightly unsettling, but somewhere pleasing. Especially when you spent a sizeable chunk of your childhood acting referee for their fights and constantly dreading them deciding on a divorce. Of course, it is definitely not comforting when one of them tells you about how it'd have been possibly true if you hadn't been so actively involved in making peace. Leaves one to shudder to think what if you had actually let go, like your elder sibling chose to.

I wonder if this is how it would be, when you'd be dead.

Today is a strangely uphill day. Of course things like shammi kebab and snatched conversations make it happier, maybe its just my cynicism today thats making me throw away things I think should be amputated now. Probably the fact that I'm too much of an egotistic fool that I expect things a certain way make me shrug away the same things I get in a lesser way than I had assumed I'd get.

I can't take a little. Too much of a regal, well throw it away even if I'm a beggar. Stings, fallen scraps. Like a well fed pet who can't survive on the garbage dump as one after another stray pup finds their own jackpot there.

One day I think I'll be truly unhappy. Then I'll have no father to crawl next to, no friends to tell me I'm being silly, and one day, they'll all see that I was right, there is no reason to love me at all. And so begins my night. A Discourse on Satire tonight, how amusing. *clink*

Hee :)

"Holi Saturday ko nahi hai??"



"Haan..."



"Toh?!?" (eyes her drenched pink self amusedly)



"Woh teevee waale aayein hai na..."





*giggle*

Experience

Maybe thats what is it. Maybe its one of those things you put on a big glass jar and forget about it. To use it you see. Detached. Collect the colours of the rainbow and finger it later. Stone cold. Cut out a part of you and let it swirl in the misty drunkenness of a past thats a present now.

Cut to see if there's actually anything to feel. The ink runs over, from these blue lined veins. Splatter. Drip. Stop.

Nothingness.

I need a change

Red button green button blue button stop. Won't. Won't tell you that is. What did you expect? Bah.