I'm tired of living upto expectations... Leave me alone

A good student. A report card with straight A’s. Track star, football champion. An all-rounder. A perfect father’s little girl. Excellent table manners. A responsible girl, a reliable friend who’s the perfect agony aunt. Confident smile, smart walk, social butterfly. The list goes on—doesn’t it?

My parents expect me to do well academically. My teachers expect me to actively participate in everything. My friends expect me to listen to all of their troubles. Even my dog expects me to be a good playmate. I am surrounded by expectations, some baseless, and some pragmatic. Already, my life is a turmoil of pressure and I am exhausted from learning to cope under all this. Why do people really expect? They do not question themselves whether they should have such hopes from me or not. Holding hopes from people which you yourself cannot fulfill is selfish and wrong. If you cannot help a person during a hard time, it is silly to expect help when you yourself are going through a bad period. Having such expectations are like building castles in the air ; they are entirely impractical. I want to be left alone, so that I can decide where I want to excel, I want to be an individual. If I am pressurized into doing different things all at once, and still expected to excel in all of them, I would feel cornered, trapped. I cannot live up to each and every person’s expectations. As a human being, I get tired, impatient, irritable, angry. My good humour cannot outlast my anger all the time. I make mistakes, I flunk a test, I break a friend’s trust. Not often, but still, sometimes. To err is human, and ultimately, that is what I am. I do great things too, I top in an exam, I win a blue ribbon in a track meet, I help my friends out of bad fixes. I am trustworthy too, and believe in spreading happy vibes when I am happy.

Up to a certain point, having expectations is okay. Even I have expectations from myself, which I try to fulfill, and I usually do. But not all the time, which is okay for me.

Living up to other people’s expectations is hard, and frustrating.
When expectations are realistic and encouraging, they serve their right purpose ; but when they get too demanding and fantastic, that is when the trouble begins. When expectations are very high, and I cannot meet them, it frustrates me and lowers my self esteem. I don’t need such expectations, I would rather there weren’t any.




This was written a few years back. Amateurish, but very real at times.

In class today

Class. I just wrote you a poem

A whirling world,
Kaleidoscopic colours.
Typhoonic winds,
Living helter skelter.

Quick quarrels,
Frenzied friendships,
In the midst of it all;
YOU.

Just before the boards

When i think of you people,
I think of sunshine,
Of freedom and laughter,
Of love and security...
A brick wall I can depend on...
A well defined circle i can call my own...